Now Is All There Is

GIRL IN TWO WORLDS

“Tell me the answer again,” I told the Sage of the Ages.

“Simple,” Metamorphosis said. “Happiness is only available right here, right now, in this moment. You shall know the magic feeling of living in the moment when you stop worrying about past things and future events, when you stop being attached to outcomes.”

“I’m still confused. What has outcomes got to do with being happy, or my mother?”

“Stop and think. You continually worry about the future.”

“You mean, like getting back home as soon as possible?” I asked.

GIRL IN TWO WORLDS

“That is an excellent example. Another one is your mother spending all her time anticipating Hunter’s return, believing that one event in the future shall bring her permanent happiness.

“You actually believe that when your mother finally gets her oldest son back home, that you shall also experience joy and contentment.”

Morph’s words made me think about how my mother’s unpredictable moods affected how I felt about myself.

I realized that when she acted moody and unhappy, I took on her problems and tried to make her feel better.

“You humans spend all of your time dreaming about your future, or, even worse, thinking negative thoughts about your past, living in the past. I suggest you learn to live in the moment and free yourself from the chase. Stop striving for more and searching for something better. You already have everything you need to be completely happy, right here, right now. So does your mother, if she so chooses.”

Morph patted me on the hand. “Hunter’s return shall never bring permanent happiness to your family.”

The door swung open and Nyx entered the room.

She set a wooden cup in front of me.

GIRL IN TWO WORLDS

“Here you are,” she said, “some elixir tea to make you feel better.”

As she turned and walked out the door, Morph told her, “Please ask Hunter to bring my backpack and bed roll.”

I took a sip of warm tea and said, “I’m starting to understand what you’re saying, but I still want to help my mother feel better.”

“What if I told you that the greatest happiness comes from self-love, discovering and nurturing your self, not from the love of others?”

I frowned at Morph. “I’d say you were wrong.”

Raising his bushy white eyebrows, he said, “Keep in mind, I do not speak of egotistical love, where all you ever think about is yourself and you care about no one else. I speak of true self-love, where you learn to act without a sense of self. Where you give without consideration, without expecting anything in return. Truly care about others.”

“So, how does this apply to my mother and me?”

After I said it, I thought about all the times Momma treated me mean and then bought me an expensive gift to make up for her cruel behavior. All I wanted was her love, not her gift of guilt. There was always a price to pay when my mother gave us her sorry-I-treated-you-bad presents.

GIRL IN TWO WORLDS

The sage wiped his white moustache with his purple napkin. “Be patient with your mother, forgive her behavior and focus on your own self growth. The harder you try to win her heart, the more resistance you shall create for yourself. Do not seek the favor of your mother. Stop worrying about her feelings for you. No longer be concerned about her opinions of you. Do not allow her behavior to affect your life.”

I smirked. “That’s going to be difficult to do.”

“Time shall make you the wiser. Allow truth to always be your guide, your inner strength. Seek the highest truth. When you learn to love yourself unconditionally, your relationship with your mother changes instantly. You shall see her in a new light. You shall love her even more than you do now. Because you know how to love your self.”

“Promise? That sounds too good to be true.”

“My words come from the Source. I speak only of love. Do you feel my love, my positive energy?”

“Now that you say it that way, I do.”

As strange as it sounds, I felt Morph’s loving energy, his aura, radiating from his body.

“My point is, nothing can make your mother happy. Not Hunter’s return. Not constant attention from you. Not priceless gifts. Not all the money in the universe. Nothing. No thing.”

I closed my eyes, thinking of all the times I tried to please Momma and how I always failed miserably.

GIRL IN TWO WORLDS

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